I spoke to my pastor on sunday about the spiritual chemistry of a group or community...

ugh...that word 'community' carries so much baggage for me now after 4 years of being inside and outside of one..

of contributing to to it's virtues and vices...

singing over it and selling it out...

neglecting it, as well as coddling it...

...and waiting for it to refresh our spiritual existence.

It's become incredibly evident to me that it's time we realize that the heart of the community does not beat on it's own without the lifeblood that comes from the members pouring into the group and without. If the idea of 'community' is the heart, then it seems to me that we've developed blood clots in the main arteries, so to speak. However, those clots cant be cleared out be the heart pumping harder. We have to go in there ourselves and take out all the gunk keeping our spiritual strengths from benefiting the whole. Conversely, if the heart cant pump blood to other parts of the body, each separate part will weaken. See what i'm getting at? The problems are our own, and the idea of community can be no more blamed for the problems than a power plant can be blamed for a downed power line. Maybe we've been using the community as a scapegoat?

Once we get all our own crap out of the way, our spiritual chemistry can begin to spark, and our passions will begin to sync. This might be a strange, and maybe even painful process, but if we actually want to develop community, what else can we do. It's no kind of ministry, or even any sign of dignity, to ascribe to this idea simply to blame others for all of it's problems. That's just pride, a sin with which we all struggle. There was a time when we had something to be proud of, but I'm sick of simply letting the past dictate that we carry on a way of living in which living out community with each other is just a nostalgic novelty.

I want to live where we are striving to become men of God. Let's not sell ourselves short anymore. Spiritual maturity is rapping at the door. Let's quit being boys and let it in.

I'm dying for something that's alive.